Peace Practice

Failing again...

Last week, during a dinner conversation in a noisy restaurant, someone I had just met asked me "What are you passionate about?" "What do you give your life to?" My response was immediate, "Conscious awareness". Then she followed up with "How do you do that?" What do you do that furthers that?" I answered, "By being who I am."

Yet - that seemed to be not enough...this body has an impulse to do more, to share, express, communicate...and the fear of doing that as well.

So here is the quandary. How can I express the ineffable? How can I explain the dispassionate ecstasy of  being-ness? I fail over and over again in every attempt to point to this essential recognition always here in the silence of our open heart. It is not an object to describe so it eludes definition, it is not an experience to relate so it is impossible to recount, it can't be remembered because it is only present now. It is awareness itself, awareness aware of itself...it is ordinary, it is here, it is always available but it cannot be claimed...

I also fail in my effort to try not to describe, communicate or share this recognition. It won't be silenced, even if it's essential nature is silence itself. I attempt to simply observe, in knowing recognition that this peace is here, unavoidable because it is the very nature of existence itself - even in the heartbreak of the human condition. It is love, wanting to be expressed, wanting to be received, in this moment it is disguised as fear of not being perfect in expressing itself...so even though every attempt seems awkward, presumptuous and inarticulate - here I am stroking these keys driven by this inner command to express, share, acknowledge and simply respond to this mystery of being infinite love expressed through a human form, which by definition, is finite and separate.

I was speaking to a friend about this yesterday and she pointed out that my sense of being awkward, presumptuous and inarticulate in the face of trying to express this is actually why I must, it is my qualification because despite the failure to perfectly express the truth of this love it will be heard anyway, it is still here in the awkward turn of a phrase that doesn't quite say what I want to say. It is here in this presumptuousness of even thinking that I should write about this at all as if I had something to share that isn't already true for you. Even in this feeling of being so inarticulate and failing utterly...it is here, still here, free of all of these considerations. It is love itself that cannot be contained and is being expressed in every form no matter how awkward, inarticulate or perverse.

Taking the Spiritual Bypass...

...is that sarcasm or just a wise suggestion? Is it an avoidance of what is true by covering it up with a new age aphorism or are you seeing clearly to the nature of things?  That is the rub. The mind is a clever trickster, a mischief-maker standing by to step in and declare itself 'master of the universe' in oh so subtle and not so subtle ways...but - so what, big deal!  It doesn't change your essential self if the mind gets out of control, even when you get hooked into the tale it tells of glory or misery, mastery or shame - it's actually all the same - mind game. Let the mind do what the mind does, perhaps it will always chase after every attempt to trap your attention into one of it's spellbinding stories. Perhaps you will recognize the plot and decide it is not necessary to stick around for the end any longer since you've seen that play so many times. Whether you do or whether you don't makes no difference.

Your suffering is part of the mind's story, your recognition and realization may be another version of the mind's story.  Many attempts have been made to describe the truth. Even if you may be traveling on the road of despair, right next to that road - parallel for awhile and gradually trailing off to infinity, is the spiritual bypass, the exit is always there - you can get on or get off anytime...

What does that mean?

Recognition. Truly recognizing or seeing through to the nature of your own self as pure love - it is here, available always as the very essence of yourself, beneath each emotion, embedded within each thought...still here, regardless if you are aware or not because it is free - and you are always free to travel either road.

I Am Interested In My Mind, by Paul Fleischman

I Am Interested In My Mind, by Paul Fleischman Shared via AddThis

 

I share this link with you because I was so moved – coming home from the weekly Monday evening meditation and here is this beautiful description of exactly how I feel…I wish I had written this – yet in another way, I did, there is really no separation. It is the ultimate fulfillment when someone speaks to the core of your being and you didn’t have to come up with the words yourself…you get to receive these words deeply and experience the magical joy they were meant to evoke…

 

So, thank you! To all the gifted writers in my life and those I come across occasionally on the net - for using your voice to speak for me and being generous enough to release your wise, beautiful, profound and provocative words to the winds! You/we, have no idea the impact this will have, but I trust in this magical uncertainty that keeps us propelled onward. Love, silence, in the end it all comes down to love….

Sit in Silence, Rest in Awareness...

My friend, Vidette, and I have started a weekly meditation group. Here is the invitation...

Come Join Us for Group Meditation...
We would like to share the joy we experience in group meditation. Please join us on Monday evenings in Mill Valley as we gather in silence. All are welcome, whether beginner or experienced.  

Meditation, and especially group meditation, is practiced universally not only by most spiritual traditions, but also by many who enjoy the benefits they receive in reducing stress and increasing peace of mind. Whatever your purpose, you are welcome.

For beginners we will offer very simple instruction to practice with the group and on your own at home. You will find that weekly group meditation will enhance your personal practice and vice versa. So if you have been wanting to learn how to meditate, this is an ideal opportunity!

For experienced mediators, we recognize there are many traditions, techniques and approaches to meditation – we honor and respect them all. For the purposes of this gathering, we are choosing to simply sit in silence as a group and let the silence itself be our personal and collective guide.

Every Monday
Doors open at 7:15
Meditation from 7:30 – 8:30 pm
Chairs available or bring your own cushion

Homestead Valley Community Center (in Mill Valley)
315 Montford
Mill Valley, CA 94941
Parking is easy! There is a small parking lot, with plenty of additional parking along the roadside

For more information contact:
Patty Klauer 310 840 4973
Vidette Poe 415 465 4622
 
Bring friends and pass it on!  It’s Free!

What is enough?

Someone asked me the other day “What is your latest mission?” Given I always seem to be passionate about some project or another from social entrepreneurism to micro-finance to social justice my answer startled me “I am mission-less”. It felt odd to say such a thing so I have let it simmer for a while.

“Is that true?” I asked myself. What does that mean? How can I relate to myself? Why do I get up in the morning or do anything? Somehow the greater social issues are not enough to support my personal mission in life. These are all worthy causes but I find myself here in this moment asking if it is enough to attend this moment, fully, as it is. Is it enough to just be me without trying to do something more, or get something else to happen to justify my existence? What if I were insignificant? Am I enough as I am?

 

Vidette and I recently decided to hold a group meditation on Thursday nights in Mill Valley. It is in response to a calling we both have to sit in silence with others. I first started meditating when I was in my early 20’s. I practiced for an hour everyday – no exceptions – for about 15 years. Then I stopped – or was stopped - one day when I met Gangaji. She invited me to stop and see what is here, now - now, not just for an hour a day, rather what is always here, all the time.  It was an essential part of my practice to let go of the practice - and simply live life in recognition that there is no separation between me and conscious, enlightened awareness. I see it was essential to practice for so many years and then it was also essential to stop practicing for so many years.

 

Now it brings me joy to sit for an hour in the morning and it brings even more joy to sit with others as a group. No agenda, just the invitation to sit together in silence. In this silence I call love, it is enough.

Synchronicity

This is the week of guardian angels...and I have many! Somehow it was my great fortune to be assigned a host of virgo angels to look after this rag-tag sagittarian. Many of them were born this week...Elizabeth, Peter, Zoe, Manju, Nikki to name just a few! What are the chances that your dearest friends are all born at the same time?

I was wondering what to give my BFF, Zoe, for her birthday. Nothing seemed just right so I decided to not figure it out and trust that it would find me. I came home tonight with nothing in hand but later I found myself opening my laptop and joining facebook. Zoe loves facebook and has been trying to get me to join for years. I don't know why I have been so resistant - it just never felt 'right'. When she was notified that I joined she wrote on my wall that today she thought what she would really like for her birthday is for me to join facebook, never believing I would since I have resisted it for so long! I didn't know why I joined today..."why is today different from every other?"

It is becoming almost ridiculous, the synchronicities...have you noticed?  With certain people it is happening all the time, like my friend Marc www.compassionatelife.com and I - today, we had so many in the course of our conversation we could barely pick our jaws off the ground! I've discovered sychronistic events happen with certain people. Marc is a new friend, unlike Zoe who I share a history dating back to high school, yet we are already in some extraordinary alignment. I don't claim to understand this mystery but it is fun to notice - and I am a student of 'noticing' - where is my attention?

So, Zoe, this is my synchronistic birthday present to you - Today it was my intention to find the perfect birthday present so here it is - facebook AND a post on my blog...Happy Birthday! I wonder what time I actually signed up - was it 11:11?

Practice Peace is a misnomer

Practice Peace – it is a misnomer to say that one can practice peace. Peace is here. It is inseparable from who you are and every thought, emotion, experience or state. We have acquired a habit of mind that traps our attention into focusing on what is wrong, troubling, irritating, frustrating, or hurtful. When the mind gets triggered it is difficult to experience the peace. We have habituated ourselves to identify with the thoughts in our mind, the emotions that arise, the physical body and its pain or beauty or defects – we call this ‘me’. All these things trap our attention making it difficult to recognize the awareness that is aware of the difficulty, the pain or the beauty. It is difficult to realize that awareness is always here and it is free, at peace, has no problem - even with the suffering.

So, that is why I use the word - practice, because the mind can be used to acquire a new habit, one that rests in peace, one that recognizes yourself as peace, even when it seems you are consumed by conflict and disturbing emotions or thoughts - at the heart of it is still peace.

So flex the peace muscle by stopping – whatever you are thinking, feeling, or focused on – just stop, in this moment and turn your attention to the awareness that is aware of what you are doing, thinking, feeling and focusing on – rest there, in this.  Give all of your thoughts, emotions and concerns to this silent awareness. Even for a moment, sporadically throughout the day, you will find yourself resting, not thinking, feeling or doing – that’s it! Let it have you. Fall back into your awareness and see for yourself what is here, available, so simple, so close we don’t see it, yet always and already here.  AAH!

Jeremy left his mark

Late for my appointment one morning, I was quickly blow drying my hair when I glanced in the mirror behind me and saw the word ‘peace’ written in water, scrawled across my shower door…the same door I just exited moments before. Jeremy left his mark and it stopped me short. All the inner dialog of fretting about the upcoming appointment and the usual list of people to call, email and visit were competing for the spotlight in my head. When I saw ‘peace’ so subtly drawn in rivulets across my shower door my mind was stopped completely. Jeremy returned to London a couple of days before, so I realized that message had been there without being seen for quite awhile – so it is with Peace – always, already here, so subtle it is missed, but still here just the same.

Jeremy Gilley is founder of Peace One Day. He has been leaving his mark across the world for the last 10 years by winning a UN resolution, making films about his journey, producing concerts to raise money and awareness, and brokering ceasefires to move aid into worn torn areas of Afghanistan. He had an idea that became a dream…what if we did not go to war for one day? www.peaceoneday.org was launched and Jeremy used his camera as a way to bring about the recognition of peace.

What is peace? How can we shift from a culture of war to a culture of peace if we do not actually experience a direct awareness of peace in our own lives? I get so caught up in the daily demands of a 21st century life there is little time available to devote to the recognition and practice of peace. So what if we can’t actually avoid peace because it is already here, inseparable from every state or emotion we are experiencing?  What if there is nothing to do about peace except to recognize its presence? Sound too simple? Maybe it is...

This blog is an experiment in peace. I am interested in engaging in an alive, fresh inquiry that promotes the direct apprehension of peace as awake, conscious awareness that is free from naming or definition just experienced, in this moment, in direct apprehension of what is always, already here. AAH!